You don’t need a good counselor alone to make counseling effective, it’s a two way street.  The person receiving the counseling needs to be cooperative because a good counselor couldn’t do his job if the person receiving the counseling wouldn’t participate.  And it needs commitment to make complex changes in behavior or thinking patterns.


From the beginning you need to know your goal and what is it that you wanted to achieve with your counselor, it should be clearly defined before you even start. Plan a realistic time frame for reaching your goals with your counselor.  And also it is important that you both agree on how you will measure your progress.


Though it is the counselors’ responsibility to gain your trust and build rapport, you have to do your part as well and be honest.  It is very important that you and your counselor to establish a good relationship so that it will allow you to be completely honest about your thoughts and feelings.  It is vital to built rapport because the situation often entails an elusive “chemistry” between both of you in which you feel comfortable with your counselor’s personality, approach and style.  This is very important that if after few sessions you don’t feel this chemistry, look for another counselor with whom you feel more comfortable because that’s the first step of the effective results.

And if you are wondering hoe to tell if you have found an effective counselor here are some signs to spot.


An effective counselor can help identify the obstacles in your way but you are still in charge for making changes in your life.  If you have power over these obstacles, a counselor can put forward behavioral changes to help you conquer them.  Your counselor can coach you on coping mechanisms that will encourage your well being in trying circumstances if these obstructions entail factors out of your control.


An effective counselor can recognize off-putting thinking patterns that may be causing feelings of sadness, depression or anxiety.  A counselor can help you develop a more optimistic attitude by encouraging you to build upon personal strengths and suggesting skills that can overcome self-inflicted feelings of hopelessness.


An effective counselor can help out in making positive changes in your relationships with others, helping you distinguish behaviors that possibly the causative to a troublesome relationship. Your counselor can educate you successful ways of communicating, clearing the way for honest exchanges with people in your life who might be the grounds of your emotional pain.


You can verify if your work with your counselor is effective if you start to get hold of your insights about your own thoughts and behaviors that may have eluded you before.  In time, you should be able to be aware of patterns in the way you act, trace their sources and spot uncertain blocks to your happiness that you may have without knowing shaped. The outcome is personal growth that allows you to be in charge of your life and take pleasure in positive, life-affirming interactions with others.